So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I would ride that face into the sunset
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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