Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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