Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
