so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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