He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
