Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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