So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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