Grow some girl-balls and come out already
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
