i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
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