Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
