on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
You made out with two different species that night
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
