he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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