I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize