Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
