I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
