so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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