i don't like sucking hair
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Randomize