she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
