Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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