In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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