I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
