Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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