I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize