who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
