thus making me awesome and them whores
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
