You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
