well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
