My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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