If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize
