she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
ugly people sure do ruin things
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
