Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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