I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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