tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
