So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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