So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
