If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
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