what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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