Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
