oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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