So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
