He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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