I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
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