I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
