Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize