Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
