Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
