oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
