jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
