Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
