All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
