He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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