he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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