google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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