Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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