My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize