You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
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