oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize