it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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