i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
