Kiss
Puke
Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Can I color on your dick again?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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