hell yes lets make some ravioli
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
