We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
