You really coming over, don't trick.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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