OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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