Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
