She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
