You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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