so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
time to smoke my breakfast
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize