I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
