ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
