So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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