Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
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