2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
