Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
