I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
