Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
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