found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
