My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
We need to get me chipped asap
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
