i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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