I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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