i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
