some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
