please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
