I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
