WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
