I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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