Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
When did angry sex become our thing?
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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