there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
