I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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