dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
