I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
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