i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Use "feeling words"
Yay
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
