dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Randomize
